That's Just The Booze Talking

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Have Gun, Will Unravel



As Lil' Kim's perjury trial gets underway––she’s been charged with lying to a grand jury about her relationship with her former bodyguard, who fired 20 shots at a rival entourage outside HOT 97––another bit of gunplay took place just last night outside the very same radio station. This time, human target range cutout 50 Cent was involved, having made a few on-air comments about dumping some other bullet-friendly rapper from the G-Unit crew. While the Times does a sound job of detailing the 5 Ws, including the identity of the poor dumb bastard who got himself kneecapped, the best take we’ve seen thus far has come from these snarky gits: SHOT 97 … "Is it Radio Hellmouth or something?"

Not at all sure about the logic behind conflating one's press kit with one's day-to-day life, although now that we think about it, getting aerated certainly gave Tupac's career a shot in the arm, head, leg, chest, etc. Cat's more prolific than Updike.

Shopping and Fucking



Keith Kelly's a genial Irish drunkard and we've poured him into more than one cab over the years, but like all middle aged dudes, he hates the Internet way too much. Sure, Circuits needs revamping––a publication that prints an average of 5 weekly stories about blogs should really stop explaining that the neologism is shorthand for "Web logs," which is in turn some kind of secret code for "Information Superhighway Diary"––but the Times needs a section about shopping like Angelina Jolie needs to discover a family of stinging centipedes inside her vagina. Or something.

Oh, about that title ref. The Ravenhill play is much better than what the UK copy hacks have to say here.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Burning Bush