That's Just The Booze Talking

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

We Are Reaching a New Low



OK, so we had ourselves one extremely mortifyingly/awkward moment yesterday at our company barbecue, an annual event marked by the consumption of way too much of a wide variety of liquids that have the capacity to make unborn children come out looking like this and sometimes impede our lame attempts at operating industrial equipment. And our gross motor functions, which is to say walking without falling onto things and people and animals.

You know how people tend to get loud when they've been drinking everything in sight all day? And you know how they'll be maybe talking to someone else about something that may not be suitable for the entire group, especially because there are children around, but the stereo's pretty loud so what the hey? And you know how sometimes these people will say something really awful right when the stereo cuts out and everyone hears it and these people we're talking about may want to go hide in the sandbox and maybe weep a little, if only because the three-year-old daughter of the boss/party host is standing there with half a Fudgeical and so was able to hear, clear as a bell, this sentence: “IF DISAPPOINTMENT WERE A LUBRICANT, I'D BE ABLE TO FIT A SHETLAND PONY UP MY ASS!”

This happens to other people, right?

Also, apropos of nothing, we think they should make a line of Precious Moments™ figurines depicting various rapes. Because, when it comes down to it, rapists have moms who collect stupid shit too. Just think how awesome a porcelain statuette of a guy going non-consensual backdoor on an Eskimo girl would look in a hutch. This is our second big idea of the week; the first was that someone should start a company that hides insults and swears in Braille. You know how there’s Braille in public spaces, like elevators? Where it’s supposed to say “fifth floor,” our dream Braille product would say something like, “Fuck you, Blindie” or maybe “How do you know when to stop wiping?” or “Do you think you’ll have eyes in Heaven?”

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At Tue Jan 12, 08:18:00 AM, Anonymous 熟女 said...

熟女だって性欲がある、貴方がもし人妻とSEXしてお金を稼ぎたいのなら、一度当サイトをご利用ください。当サイトには全国各地からお金持ちのセレブたちが集まっています。女性から男性への報酬は、 最低15万円からと決めております。興味のある方は一度当サイト案内をご覧ください

 
At Wed Jan 13, 09:10:00 AM, Anonymous mコミュ said...

mコミュで理想の恋人を見つけよう!某女性誌に紹介され、女の子の登録者が急増中です。新しい出会いの場としてあまり知られていない今ならメールの返信がすぐに返ってくるかも!?無料登録から始めてみよう

 
At Thu Jan 14, 08:50:00 AM, Anonymous 天然娘 said...

さびしがりやの素人女性や天然娘にメールやチャットで会話してあげるだけで儲かる新感覚のアルバイト「素人ホスト」!未経験者の方でも簡単、手軽に出来るお仕事です。詳細は当サイトでご確認ください

 
At Fri Jan 15, 07:48:00 AM, Anonymous 真剣に向き合ってはくれませんか? said...

初めての書き込みでちょっぴり緊張してます、男の人と出会うきっかけがなくて!こう言う場をかりてみるのもひとつのきっかけですよね。周りの友達は彼氏とラブラブの毎日、あたしもラブラブな毎日を過ごしたい、21歳の恥ずかしがり屋なんで、年上で引っ張ってくれる人がいいです。メールしてくれたら返事は確実だよ♪ワクワクしながらメール待ってます love.love.happy-@docomo.ne.jp

 
At Sat Jan 16, 08:20:00 AM, Anonymous スタービーチ said...

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At Sun Jan 17, 08:37:00 AM, Anonymous 神待ち said...

家出・神待ちサイト神風は家出少女が集まる人気サイトをクチコミから集めた家出サイト専用のリンク集です。風のように現れる神となってあなたも家出少女を救ってあげて下さい

 
At Mon Jan 18, 08:28:00 AM, Anonymous 右脳左脳チェッカー said...

ランク王国でもご紹介された右脳左脳チェッカー、天才肌を見分ける楽しい盛り上がりツールとして今、支持をうけております。みんなでやれば盛り上がる事は間違いなし診断結果でも全国ランキングなどにランクインされて面白さ倍増!話のネタに一度はどうぞ

 
At Tue Jan 19, 08:15:00 AM, Anonymous セレブ said...

ゴージャスなリッチセレブリティ達のアダルトコミュニティーサイト!お金と時間に優雅なセレブ女性達はアダルトコミュで男性との秘密交際を楽しんでいるのです

 
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At Thu Jan 21, 09:13:00 AM, Anonymous 彼氏募集 said...

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At Fri Jan 22, 01:19:00 PM, Anonymous 飲み友募集 said...

飲み友探してまーす☆気軽に楽しく一緒に飲みに行きませんか?(*^_^*)そんなに強くはないけどね(*μ_μ) イイお店とか知ってたら案内してほしいです★時間は夜遅くでも空いてますよヽ(^o^)丿飲み友探しなんで二十歳以上の人限定ー(*・人・*) 年は23歳だよ!メールよろしくでーす! red-rose.ray@docomo.ne.jp

 
At Sat Jan 23, 10:54:00 AM, Anonymous スタービーチ said...

新しくなったスタービーチは新しいであいのカタチを提案します★ あなたに出逢いたい人がここにいます。

 
At Sun Jan 24, 10:19:00 AM, Anonymous 神待ち said...

神待ちサイト ガールズBBSは家出少女を救う神待ち専用の掲示板です!登録無料で家出少女と出会えるチャンス

 
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At Mon Jan 25, 10:27:00 AM, Anonymous 勝ち組負け組チェッカー said...

人生の勝者&敗者を容赦なく測定できてしまう勝ち組負け組チェッカー!資本主義の日本で貴方は果たして勝ち組になれているのか?あるいは…気になった人はぜひチャレンジしてみてください

 
At Tue Jan 26, 09:57:00 AM, Anonymous 高額アルバイト said...

高額アルバイトでは大人の恋愛を求めた風俗嬢や社長令嬢といった女性達が多数登録されております。裏風俗とまで呼ばれる逆援助の交際をあなた様も求めてみませんか

 
At Thu Jan 28, 08:51:00 AM, Anonymous 高級セレブ said...

ゴージャスなリッチセレブリティ達のアダルトコミュニティーサイト!お金と時間に優雅な高級セレブ女性達はアダルトコミュで男性との秘密交際を楽しんでいるのです

 
At Fri Jan 29, 08:12:00 AM, Anonymous メル友 said...

変な性癖があるのはどう思いますか?私、獣姦とか好きなんです…いきなりこんな話驚きますよね…引きましたか?Σ(゜□゜(゜□゜*)野外とかにも興味があります!変態チックなのもたまにはいいですよ\(^-^ )こんな私にメールしてくれるとうれしいです。メールから色んな話しましょ(^_^)年上の人がいいです、私は27歳ですよ!それでは、メール待ってますね sasisuseso309@docomo.ne.jp

 
At Sat Jan 30, 08:48:00 AM, Anonymous ツイッター said...

ツイッターで始まるであいの掲示板は新感覚のコミュニティ☆男女とも無料の年齢認証登録だけで即参加!!掲示板に参加後はプロフ作成やお友達検索、メッセージの交換等など多彩なコンテンツで貴方のであいをしっかりサポート

 
At Sun Jan 31, 09:14:00 AM, Anonymous スタービーチ said...

皆様お待たせしました!!伝説の出合い系サイト、スタービーチが遂に復活!あの興奮を再び体験できる!思う存分出合いをお楽しみください

 
At Mon Feb 01, 08:53:00 AM, Anonymous 精神年齢チェッカー said...

精神年齢チェッカーであなたの実際の精神年齢が、簡単な質問でわかっちゃいます。普段は子供っぽいあの人も実は大人の思考の持ち主で子供っぽく振舞ってるだけかも知れませんよ

 
At Tue Feb 02, 09:06:00 AM, Anonymous 彼氏募集 said...

ゅめのプロフ作りました☆バレンタイン前なのにアソンでくれるヒトいなくて(泣)寂しいデス↓↓遊んでもイイヨ~ってヒト、メルちょうだいネ

 
At Wed Feb 03, 09:56:00 AM, Anonymous モバゲー said...

今やモバゲーは押しも押されもせぬ人気SNS!当然出会いを求めてる人も多い!そこで男女が出逢えるコミュニティーが誕生!ここなら友達、恋人が簡単にできちゃいますよ

 
At Thu Feb 04, 09:11:00 AM, Anonymous 救援部 said...

今や女の子のひとりHは常識。しかもお金を払って実際にひとりHを見てもらい、恥ずかしがるのや褒められるのが興奮のツボ!そんな彼女達とオナメールやオナ○ー救援部でHなことしてみませんか

 
At Fri Feb 05, 09:14:00 AM, Anonymous 彼氏募集 said...

今まで趣味とか仕事に夢中になってて気付いたら一人ぼっちで彼氏いなーい(_´Д`)恋愛からしばらく離れてたから…時々さびしくなっちゃったりするんだよね( p_q)同じくさびしーって人いる?けっこう甘えたりするところがあるから大人の人が好きだよ☆だから、年下はゴメンネ(。-人-。) メアドつけておくから気に入ってくれたらメールしてね!待ってまーす hahahanoha88@docomo.ne.jp

 
At Sat Feb 06, 09:16:00 AM, Anonymous コンパ said...

今、お部屋コンパがアツイ!!毎日あなたのお部屋がコンパ会場に!インターネットで即参加!招待状がなくてもスグに使えるSNSコミュニティ☆

 
At Sun Feb 07, 09:59:00 AM, Anonymous スタービーチ said...

今度のスタービーチはここがスゴイ!モバイルだけじゃなくPCでも簡単に相手を探せる!新しいスタービーチは出会いの確率がグンとUP☆

 
At Mon Feb 08, 09:28:00 AM, Anonymous 人生の値段チェッカー said...

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At Tue Feb 09, 09:20:00 AM, Anonymous 素人 said...

お金持ち人妻や熟女達は素人ホストに抱いてもらう喜びを忘れられず、性欲を満たしています。お金に困った素人男性達は当サイトで人妻さん達を抱いて高額報酬をいただいてください

 
At Thu Feb 11, 08:41:00 AM, Anonymous 家出 said...

これから家出したい人や現在家出している人達と、家出少女を救いたい人を繋げるSOS掲示板です

 
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At Sat Feb 13, 08:58:00 AM, Anonymous モバゲー said...

今やモバゲーは押しも押されもせぬ人気SNS!当然であいを求めてる人も多い!そこで男女が出逢えるコミュニティーが誕生!ここなら友達、恋人が簡単にできちゃいますよ

 
At Sun Feb 14, 09:21:00 AM, Anonymous gree said...

greeやモバゲー、mixiよりアツイ!!スタービーチが新しくなって登場!!復活したスタービーチで新しいでぁいを見つけよう

 
At Mon Feb 15, 09:02:00 AM, Anonymous ¥倶楽部 said...

セクフレ掲示板、¥倶楽部で大人の恋愛をしてみませんか?割り切ったセクフレと快楽のみを求めた恋愛をしてくださいませ

 
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At Tue Feb 16, 08:56:00 AM, Anonymous モバゲー said...

モバゲーやミクシィ、グリーでであえなかった人もNEWスタービーチなら確実にであいをゲット!無料年齢認証登録であの感動が今、再び蘇る

 
At Wed Feb 17, 09:45:00 AM, Anonymous スタービーチ said...

最も復活してほしかったサイトでダントツのNO.1であるスタービーチがとうとう復活!!以前にもましてご利用者様に満足していただける最高のシステムになっております。思う存分新しくなったスタービーチをお楽しみください

 
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At Thu Feb 18, 08:40:00 AM, Anonymous 援助スポット said...

最低10万円から交際がスタートする援助スポット。不満を持つ熟女達が若い男性を求めて集まっております。熟女サークル逆¥交際であなたもリッチな生活を送ってみませんか

 
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At Sat Feb 20, 08:53:00 AM, Anonymous スタビ said...

満を持してのスタビ復活劇!!ここから刻まれる、新たな一コマ。スタービーチがあなたの歴史を生み出します

 
At Sun Feb 21, 10:26:00 AM, Anonymous mコミュ said...

大人気コミュニティーサイトとなったモバゲー!であいを求める人も当然多い!!そこでであい専門のコミュニティーサイトmコミュを発信!ここでカレシ彼女をGETしよう♪

 
At Mon Feb 22, 09:39:00 AM, Anonymous モテる度チェッカー said...

なかなか彼氏、彼女が出来ない君達の深層心理を徹底解明♪みんなでモテる度チェッカーをやって結果交換も自由、ゴウコンや休み時間はモテる度チェックで暇つぶし!次にモテ期が訪れる瞬間をズバリ診断、チャンスを逃すな

 
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At Thu Feb 25, 08:58:00 AM, Anonymous オナニー said...

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At Sat Feb 27, 08:44:00 AM, Anonymous mコミュ said...

PC対応!掲示板コミュニティサイトmコミュでであいを満喫しませんか?素敵なであいをあなたにお届けいたします

 
At Sun Feb 28, 09:09:00 AM, Anonymous スタービーチ said...

復活、スタービーチ!日本最大の友達探しサイトがついに復活、進化を遂げた新生スタビをやってみませんか?理想のパートナー探しの手助け、合コンパーティー等も随時開催しています。楽しかった頃のスタビを体験しよう

 
At Tue Mar 02, 11:56:00 AM, Anonymous ギャル said...

ギャルは素人ホストに抱いてもらう喜びを忘れられず、性欲を満たしています。お金に困った素人男性達は当サイトでギャル達を抱いて高額報酬をいただいてください

 
At Wed Mar 03, 10:44:00 AM, Anonymous モバゲー said...

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At Thu Mar 04, 10:46:00 AM, Anonymous 出張ホスト said...

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At Fri Mar 05, 10:08:00 AM, Anonymous 恋愛 said...

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At Sat Mar 06, 09:16:00 AM, Anonymous スタービーチ said...

突如として消えたスタービーチが電撃復帰!長い年月をかけて蘇った進化したスタービーチをお楽しみください

 
At Sun Mar 07, 10:19:00 AM, Anonymous スタービーチ said...

であえる確立NO.1を誇るスタービーチが帰ってきた!であいの要素がいっぱいつまった当サイトでであいのきっかけ掴みましょ

 
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SM度チェッカーで隠された性癖をチェック!外見では分からない男女のSM指数をチェックして、合コンや飲み会で一気に気になる人との仲を縮めよう

 
At Tue Mar 09, 10:46:00 AM, Anonymous アダルトSNS said...

アダルトSNSは今話題沸騰中!!女の子達のエッチ告白、日々のマル秘映像や写真は要チェック!!!今すぐ無料参加してアダルトSNSを始めよう

 
At Wed Mar 10, 10:11:00 AM, Anonymous モバゲー said...

モバゲーより確実に遊べるサイト誕生!スタービーチで理想の関係を築いていきませんか

 
At Thu Mar 11, 10:53:00 AM, Anonymous メル友 said...

全国からメル友募集中の女の子達が、あなたの誘いを待ってるよ!無料エントリーで自由な恋愛を楽しんじゃお

 
At Fri Mar 12, 09:37:00 AM, Anonymous 恋愛 said...

彼氏いない歴2年半になろうとしてます、なかなか相性の合う人と出会えず、好意をよせてくれる人もいたけどダメだった。 一緒にいて楽しくて落ち着く人と、仲良くなって恋愛したい!!甘えさせてくれる人がいいから、年下の人は私には向いてません。よろしくね!ruri11.ko9@docomo.ne.jp

 
At Sat Mar 13, 08:40:00 AM, Anonymous モバゲー said...

今やモバゲーは人気SNS!当然出会いを求めてる人も多い!そこで男女が出逢えるコミュニティーが誕生!ここなら友達、恋人が簡単にできちゃいますよ

 
At Sun Mar 14, 09:29:00 AM, Anonymous モバゲー said...

モバゲーより確実に逢えるスタービーチ♪今まで遊びをしてこなかった人でも100%であいが堪能できます。理想の異性をGETするなら当サイトにお任せください

 
At Tue Mar 16, 08:41:00 AM, Anonymous 高松宮記念 said...

高松宮記念の最新予想!オッズ、厳選買い目は?!レースの鍵を握る馬は裏情報を特別公開

 

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